Aides scurrying to find alibis

WASHINGTON, DC. (—When Spot, the Presidential spaniel, was found dead in the Oval Office, fond memories of the canine were recounted. However, after the coroner’s report, ruling out suicide, found traces of arsenic, the sadness quickly turned to anger and indignation.

A tearful Laura Bush said: “Why would anyone do such a thing?”

The President noted that in the present political climate, anything was possible: “It could be a terrorist plot. Or North Korea maybe. Iran. It could be the Democrats. Heck, it could be anyone, really. This is of the highest priority. The FBI are already working on it. We will not rest until we hunt down the heinous criminal behind this deed. Either you are a dog lover or you aren’t.”

Within the White House, aides scrambled for alibis. Even the Vice President, well-known for his dislike of dogs, was not beyond suspicion. He issued a statement: “I was out of the country at the time of the incident.”

“I love dogs, and would never hurt one,” Condoleezza Rice said at a press conference.

TheShortStraw noted, however, that when asked, the Vice President could not recall which country he had been visiting. “That means nothing,” he said. “Often I don’t know where I am or with whom.”

Condoleezza Rice hardly fared better. A neighbor recalled wryly how Rice had kicked her poodle once, when she thought no one was watching.

Copyright © 2004, TheShortStraw


TheShortStraw is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. All contents Copyright © 2004, TheShortStraw. All rights reserved.

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